Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Food for Good Dating?


The title of this post seems wrong but I could not come up with a better one.

Basically, the wife and I were discussing over Tim Sum at Crystal Jade today whether it was necessary for a couple (or more correctly, the guy) to splurge on expensive restaurants while dating. (Because we are both poor folks, our idea of expensive restaurants are actually just about any place that is more costly than a fast food outlet.)

She said that it wasn't necessary.

I said it was.

I gave her examples of the times when I dated her and brought her to restaurants to eat. That I argued was confirmation that good food and ambience is critical for a dating couple to progress towards marriage.

She countered and mentioned that we also spent quite a lot of time eating hawker food and fast food.

However, I reasoned with her that during our dating period, we often went to the nicer places (e.g. fast food over hawker center) because of the ambience. The air-con, cleaner toilets, nice music , etc was more conducive for romance to develop.

I also argued that it would be extremely difficult for a couple to be in the mood for love if they are hot and sweaty at the hawker centre. That is unless the guy is very charming of course =). Since I did not have that charm, I had to resort to such "underhand" methods to "win" her heart over.

The wife did not rebut my argument which makes me think that I am correct.

But is it true?

If a guy brings a girl to a hawker centre instead of a restaurant for their first date is there a lower chance of success?
Does that mean that a guy has no choice but to spend more money when he is dating?

12 comments:

  1. Imagine I spend $400 to $600 on food a month on both myself and my gf!

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  2. Don't stinge on dates. Always seek to create a positive impression and date with style. :)

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  3. Spending on a chio bu and potential wife is always worth it! :P haha

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  4. this coming from a girl, i think it depends.. if you're saying that the first date is at East Coast Park roller blading or cycling, then i wouldnt expect to be gng into the restaurants, i'll be happy with the good hawker food that the lagoon food center offers (especially when it's the first time that i tried it. my bf brought me there, not the first date, but one of the first few places). if the first date isnt an activity where sports etc is not involved, then perhaps somewhere a little more expensive than usual is better as it contributes to the ambience etc. special occasions would usually call for a bit more atas places (but i told my bf it's totally fine to propose over hawker food, as long as there's the ring and a proper proposal, "want to apply hdb with me" is definately not one of them)

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  5. Are Singaporean girls, generally speaking, really expecting these expensive meals? Is a frugal girl really that hard to find?

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  6. I think if you're looking for a good partner, it's better that you 'test' how they react if you bring them to the most atas place and the most cheapo place. I wouldn't bring them to the most atas place until I'm sure she's the one. It's not good to puff up yourself to look cool and impressive (not to mention rich) yet at the same time you're straining your resources dry.

    Sounds like the movie "Priceless". Very good show.

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  7. If you trying to be the most cheapo soon you will be running out of dates unless you are the most handsome or the most mancho guy in town. Don't try.

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  8. Hi JW,
    $300 to $600 is quite okay for a couple. If u split it up, you are only paying $300 per month for her food. Of course I guess you have not included other expenses like movies, etc

    AK71, MW and CW8888,
    We are quite aligned in our thoughts =) Spending on a date is definitely a worthwhile investment.

    Yang^2,
    I am not saying that Singapore girls only want expensive food and are not frugal. What I am saying is that even if the girl is frugal, the guy stands a better chance if he takes her to a place to eat where the ambience is right. Romance is more likely to develop. I am not sure if this is a sweeping statement but I guess we will never know for sure.

    Anonymous,
    I agree with you. We can eat both cheap and expensive food. But at the end of the day, a nice place is always better and more conducive for romance =)

    LP,
    Wah.."test" your partner... but that "testing" can only be done if you pass the first stage. You have higher chance of passing the first stage if you bring her to a nice restaurant right? =) I think most Singapore girls are quite understanding and will offer to go dutch. But guys generally like to keep their "face" so they offer to pay the bills.

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  9. Hi FF,

    SHE has to pass my test :)

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  10. Wah great one LP,

    I hope she does not read this blog =)

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  11. Where to have meals is not as important as character matching between a couple. Where to have meals may not indicate their financial management skill. During dating, one may hide their true behaviour. I think just go natural or have a balance.

    To know one's expectation, discuss open-ended scenario questions (finance, situation management, people management, relatives, etc) and see if over time, the answers matched up or not.

    I'm sure one do not want to have beautiful dreams before marriage and a bad dream after that. So don't set the wrong expectation or the wrong bar level during dating. :)

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