How Much to Give for Baby Shower

Often, I get questions on how much one should give for baby shower (e.g. colleague's baby first month celebration, etc).  Well, this is both an easy question and hard question to answer.

The reason why it is easy or hard depends really on the type of person who is inviting you for the baby shower.  It can be hard to tell what kind of person is it.  Some people don't give two hoots about how much you give or what presents you buy for their baby.  The only reason they invite you there is because you belong to their closest circle of friends.  Your presence is all that matters.  In fact, the only reason why they want you there is so that they will actually have somebody to talk to during the baby shower or party itself.  In fact, you could turn up empty handed and they will probably not even realise it.  After all, they are not bothered about gifts or the amount of ang bao one gives.

On the other hand, there ARE people who actually might take offence if you do not turn up with a respectable present.  And it is extremely hard to tell which category your friend/colleague/spouse's friend might fall into.  If they fall under this category, you BETTER show up with something in hand or face the consequences for the rest of your life (okay, just kidding......but then again, maybe not). And the situation gets trickier.  What if that person is a colleague whom you will see day in day out?  Or what happens if it is your boss?

Well, there is really no good guide on how much to give for a baby shower.  In terms of red packet (or ang bao), I figure that the following should serve as a guide:

Acquaintance/Colleague - $20 to $30
Friend/Relative - $30 to $80

Well, the above rates are just a guide.  And only you will perhaps know what is the correct amount to give.  Of course, if your entire family (4 or 5 pax) is invited to a baby shower with buffet served, you might want to give a little more to cover the costs of the food/drinks/venue.  But this is not a Chinese Wedding and the amount probably does not matter.

Another way to simplify things is to just simply buy a gift for the baby (using the above rates as a benchmark for the cost of the gift).  But this gets tricky as you never know what are the gifts that parents like.  The parents might be fussy about the brand of the gift (only ABC brand), country of manufacture (no toys made in XYZ country), colour (e.g. no purple) , etc.  So it is extremely difficult to get a gift.  Unless you are certain that the gift is of a reasonable quality and will be well-received by the parents.  Books are quite safe presents but then again, some judgement needs to be exercised.  After all, a 1 month or 1 year old baby can't possibly read that much.

The best way if you are still clueless is to actually suggest gift sharing with a few other people who are attending the baby shower.  This sorts of ensures that you are giving the equivalent of what others are giving (especially useful if it is a colleague's baby shower that you are attending).  But there is of course the operational hassle of who chooses the gift, what gift to buy and how expensive it should cost.

Nevertheless, all these should not deter one from attending any baby shower.  After all, it is the heart that matters.  And I am sure your presence at the baby shower will be much more appreciated than any gift or red packets (ang bao).