It is past midnight and I can't seem to sleep. My brain is like in SUPER overdrive mode with lots of random thoughts. This posting might be of little interest to most of you but I just needed an outlet to express my innermost thoughts and feelings. I am not sure whether some of you can relate to what I am about to share next.
Over the years, I have been increasingly aware of the little steps that I have taken that have nudged me on in a certain direction in life that I would otherwise have not taken if not for some small decision on my part. Sometimes, this decision tend to be big and sometimes, small. But nevertheless, they have all contributed to where I am today.
Studying Locally or Overseas
For one, the decision to study locally or abroad has shaped my life in many ways. I can only think of the "what ifs" of the time when I had the opportunity to go overseas and study. In fact, I had sent out a few applications and had managed to secure a place in universities like University College of London and Brown University. Alas, things did not come to pass due to the small steps I took and the little decisions that I made. And this has probably affected the way things have turned out and the way my career has panned out. Whether they have turned out for the better or for worse, I will never be able to tell. Only God knows.
The decision not to pursue my studies overseas remains one of my deepest regrets in my life. It just seems that people's perception of you are formed by them knowing which school you have graduated from. And apparently, graduating from a good overseas university is very important in traditional Singapore. At least that is my perception...
Blogging My Life Away
Just take the example of me starting to blog just for the fun of it. This has already nudged me in a certain direction and little did I know that in the span of two years, I would have made so many online friends and gotten to converse with them on many sensitive topics. Many thanks to you guys and girls! You know who you are. Again, the small decision to start a blog rolled my life in one direction and led me down a path which I never knew I would take or could take.
At the same time, I wonder whether I should quit this blogging business thing. It brings me little real income and I don't really find myself adding value to the tons and tons of information already out there on the internet. Could there be better use of my time?
Missed Opportunities
Then there are those missed opportunities in life which I keep asking myself the "what ifs". Many years ago, if I had just taken a small step in a certain direction, I might have had the opportunity to enter a business venture with a friend. That was over 5 years ago. If I had just taken that step, I could be financially free now. Seriously. And now, I can only wonder about the "what ifs". It makes me feel like kicking myself.
TWO PATHS....
At the same time, I cannot help but wonder whether my present life is actually better off or that maybe God had some other better plan installed for me and I ignored his promptings.
But I guess life is not worthwhile thinking about the path that was not taken. It is the path laid out in front of me that matters most. And I need to seize it and make it count while I am still here on earth.
The little steps you take and the decision you make will lead you to some place in life. Don't underestimate the decisions that you make today.