Regrets of the Dying

I read this wonderful post of my Google Reader and decided it was worth sharing with all. Start living the life that you want to and stop having any regrets! Do let me know what you think and share with all on which regret you want to rid yourself of by commenting on this post below.

For me, it is the first. I wish I'd have the courage to live a life true to myself. I hope that I do not die with such a regret in my heart - that I feared to pursue my dreams because of other's expectations

=============

Bronnie Ware works in pallitative care -- with patients near the end of their life. In this post, she writes powerfully about the the top regrets that have surfaced again and again from her patients on their death beds. I've pasted the list of five below.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Diversifying Streams of Income - Passivity the Key

I have been trying to diversify the various streams of income that I currently get.

I have my earned income from my 9 to 5 job. This is the most hard earned income as I literally have to work hard to earn it. Any day I stop going to work means that I stop earning money literally. In this time and age with the retirement age set at 62, I need to find some kind of work that will allow me to work beyond the official retirement age.

I have dividends from my stocks and real estate investment trusts (REITs). Sold off my Canadian Royalty Trusts (Canroys) some time back so I no longer am able to get those monthly cheques which were wonderful to get.

Online ad revenue has also been kind to me as I have managed to sell certain spaces on my blogs for cool sums of money. It is sometimes quite amazing how I have managed to diversify the various streams of income. From relying solely on Adsense to other alternative sources.

I have been toying the idea of starting a business but still do not have a concrete idea what to sell. It needs to be something really easy to set up and which requires minimum effort on my part. It doesn't have to bring in much, maybe just few dollars a month.

What I realised is this: Once I open up another stream of income, I become surer of myself and somehow will be able to slowly turn on the taps and increase that stream till it turns out to be a sizeable stream.

I will keep all updated once I have managed to seek out that additional source of passive income.

Stay tune!

The Act of Giving

A few days ago, I ran a $10 donation contest to ask readers to suggest charities that I could give to and I would reward them by donating $10 to the charity that they mention.

Lately, I have been thinking about philantrophy and how I could incorporate it into my life or maybe even incorporate it into part of my family's legacy. This was after reading the news about the Khoo's family donation to NUHS.

The act of giving is something mysterious and lovely at the same time. Personally, I have found that giving away my money to charities makes me feel that all my work is not in vain. At least I am helping someone who is needy.

Meaning of Philanthropy

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill, British prime minister (1874-1965)

The word "philanthropy" is derived from the Greek word philos (love) and anthropos (mankind). Loosely translated, it means "love for mankind". The act of philanthropy can thus be generally defined as the giving of one's money, time, information, goods and services, voice or influence to the general improvement of the well-being of humanity.

If you have given away things before, you ought to understand that there is a certain joy that can be derived from giving.

How much to Give?

How much one should give is dependent on many factors. Giving money away can sometimes be as complicated as making money! Here are some general guidelines when it comes to giving:

1. Know your income level and how long you wish to continue giving. No point giving away everything till you go broke. You should find a level that is comfortable enough. You can't match the millions that the rich are giving away, but surely a few dollars can be spared? While some people might choose to make monthly contributions to their charity of choice, others prefer to make only one-off donations. This all boils down to preference and comfort level.

2. Identify areas you are passionate in. Giving is much easier if you are giving to an area you are passionate in. If you like children, donating to a children's charity makes sense. The key idea is to donate to causes which you believe in and are passionate about.

3. Read up, Track progress, Be clear about expectations. There are just so many charities out there. Just the other day, I learnt about this new charity called the Rainbow Club. I have never heard of it before had I not started the blog post asking readers for suggestions. This goes to show that there are so many organisations out there and it might be worthwhile to read up more, track each of these organisation to see what they are doing differently from the rest and also tailor your expectations on how your money will be put to good use.

$10 Donation Contest - Pick Your Favorite Charity

Many months back, I had a free $50 giveaway contest where I gave away $50 to the 50th person who commented on a post. You can find the free $50 contest here.

I decided to start a donation contest today.

The thing is that you won't be winning a single dollar. Rather, it will be the charity of your choice that wins the money.

Just drop a short comment on this post and let me know which charity is worth giving and why you personally think so. I will pick the best comment and donate the $10 to that charity. Of course, I will not be able to proof that I did so but you can just trust me =)

Or you can ask MusicWhiz who won the $50 contest to testify that I really gave him $50 the last time I held such a contest.

So simple rules. Just comment on this post the charity of your choice and why you think that charity deserves the money. Who knows, I might even consider giving to that charity on a more regular basis. And some of the readers of this blog might do so too =)

Let's start the ball rolling!

Simplifying My Life - Email Detoxification

I am trying to simplify my life. I find that I have way too many emails to read and that is perhaps worsened by the fact that lots of spam mail have been coming in as I have subscribed to various forums before.

Just the other day, I went through all my spam mail and basically unsubscribed myself from all future mailing lists. Now, my email inbox registers at least 10 less emails per day. That is a great deal to me as I only check my non-work related email account like once in a week. So that basically means a grand total of 70 emails less to scroll thru each time I log on during the weekends.

All this is just part of my effort to try to simplify my life and to get the unimportant things out of the way leaving me with quality time to pursue the goals that I want.

Does Donate Button Work?

Does putting a DONATE button on the blog help? I cannot help but notice that many people have placed donate buttons on their blog to ask readers to support them in their blogging efforts. In fact, some bloggers say that they have actually managed to get donations from certain generous readers.

I thought it would be pretty cool to try it out so I have just placed a donate button on the top right of this blog.

Hopefully some generous soul will donate to me some money to buy me a cup of coffee?

Wonder whether anyone else out there has tried putting a donate button before and whether anyone did donate any money?

Perhaps I will wait for one month and report my findings. Stay tuned!

Retirement Planning

Are you planning to retire? Is the fear of retirement bothering you night and day? Are you sure about your retirement planning and whether you have enough savings?

Well, these are some of the most common questions that one might ask oneself several times while planning for retirement. Retirement can be said to be the phase of life where a person leaves or losses his employment or professional identity forever. In fact, I have even read newspaper articles that suggest retirement as a concept is actually fairly new in our human history. Afterall, people in the past used to work as long as they were able to. There was no such thing as a retirement age!

I shudder at the thought of retirement. Afterall, I find it hard to imagine sitting at home having nothing to do. Yet I can't help notice the trend that these days, older people are increasingly moving towards semi retirement by reducing daily or weekly work hours before they actually go into full retirement. I have seen many real life examples. Others have even gone a step further and taken a more radical approach - by suggesting that one can go on mini-retirements throughout one's life. (Read the 4 Hour Work Week and you will know what I am talking about)

In today's world with its ever increasing cost of living, it is hard to imagine somebody retiring and totally stopping work and not drawing an income. How certain can one be that he will not outlive his or her savings? Based on the average life expectancy of Singaporeans, I think the average male or female will live to age 80. But that is being average and if one happens to be above average, you could possibly be living till 90 or even 100! What if you had only enough savings for 10 years or 20 years and retired at the age of 60. You will be too old to find employment then!

There are in fact some employment opportunities out there that allows for flexi work arrangements for the elderly. Singapore is also introducing a Re-employment Act to make employers offer older employees some kind of employment even after the official retirement age. In the future, it is not hard to imagine that elderly folks can work from home as they have easy access to the computer and internet.

For me, I believe I will try to work for as long as I can. I have changed my thinking about retirement a few times in my life. In the past, I wanted to retire as early as possible. Now, I see retirement as something that I want to avoid. If I can find something that I love to do, I don't mind doing it for the rest of my life!

It is useful to note this: Your retirement age is not fixed by law; in fact it’s fixed by your potential and willingness to work. In short, a retirement that makes your retired life fun loving and worthwhile is the best retirement plan that one can have. In fact, I would not call it retirement at all but rather active ageing.