Stop Letting Work Define Who You Are

We often fall into the habit of letting our work define our entire being. And it is difficult to get out of this mindset. Sometimes, I wish I were a little braver.. That I will be able to stop living life the way others have defined it for me, break out of the moulds, get out of the silly rat race, and start truly living life.

But then, there are bills to pay. And someone has to feed the family. So I put off all my wildest dreams of like travelling the world (on a really shoe string budget), or setting off to some far flung place and anchoring myself there for like the rest of eternity...

And i know that slowly the bright spark in me is dying and slowly fading. I am very much less cheerful nowadays. I prefer to be left alone. I desire for something more than this seemingly mundane life. I am not making a living. I am making a "dying" literally.

Don't get me wrong. It is not that I am not happy at my job. But sometimes, I just get the sense that this isn't what I should be doing. Reaching home past seven pm on each weekday is not something that I desire. (Of course, i know there are those of you who reach home much later than I do).

I need to find new inspiration, set new priorities, find my purpose and live my life with passion.

So my dear friend: Please don't let your work define who you are. I am trying hard to do that. We deserve so much more than all these.

Paper Chasing in Singapore and Choosing a Job that Makes You Happy

I wrote about the Paper chase in Singapore a few days back. I must admit I got a bit side tracked from writing about how much one needs to get married where I wanted to share more about the costs of getting married in Singapore. I promise to get back to that once I am done with my ranting on the ingrained mindset of paper chasing in Singapore.

ARGH! THAT WAS ME IN THE MIRROR

I seriously could not believe that when I got home today, I actually spent a large amount of time researching on the various masters courses that I could take in Singapore. A good part of my evening was gone just researching on SMU, NTU and NUS. I even contemplated signing up for other courses like ACCA or CFA. But then I got lost in the myriad of requirements and stuff. This pretty much sums up the Singaporean obsession with paper qualifications. I have seen the enemy and I am one of them! I am just like any other Singaporean who focuses too much on paper qualifications.

Choosing a Job That Makes You Happy

It was definitely timely to read an article about choosing a job that makes one happy. Am I happy in my job? Do I have passion for it? I can't be certain. Some days I wake up gearing to go to work. Then there are other times (long stretches I admit) where I simply don't fill the urge to go to work at all.

The Paper Chase in Singapore

Singaporeans I realised are obsessed with the paper chase. Qualifications seem to be the sole criterion by which we judge others and almost everyone else. Who went to which grad school and blah blah blah. It annoys me to the max sometimes how superficial we all get. And it is worsened by the fact that people actually think real education is only obtained in the better universities. In fact, I would like to think that most of us are not educated at all even after we leave university.

But the paper chase in Singapore is here to stay. And it seems like those who command respect are usually those who have made it into the top universities overseas. No matter how much I would like to deny this fact, it remains the fact and will most probably remain as such. And it is sad that we as a society place such high value on paper qualifications.

Sigh. This is a sad fact of life. And I better learn how to live with it or ship out.

How Much To Get Married (Part 2) - HDB Flat

A few days back, I wrote about the cost of getting married in Singapore. In that post, I gave a brief outline on the items that a typical Chinese couple in Singapore would spend on. One of the big ticket items I identified was one's housing.

For most couples who have just started working and are probably not earning a lot (or born with a silver spoon), they will most probably opt to buy a HDB flat. This is perhaps the cheapest option unless you are willing to rent or stay with parents/in-laws.

When to rent

Some couples might opt to rent a flat or a room instead of buying their own HDB flat. This is usually due to cost considerations or because one is able to get a flat of choice. Others might simply want to be debt free and so choose to rent instead of buy. As a guide, one's mortgage loans (plus other debt payments) should not exceed 35% of the couple's combined salary. Most couples who have been working for 1-2 years should be below the $8000 combined income ceiling and should be eligible for a HDB flat.

In my personal opinion, it does not make sense to rent a HDB flat for long term since the HDB owner will most probably rent it out at a rate much higher than his or her own monthly mortgage payments. For e.g. if my monthly mortgage payment for my HDB flat is $1000, I will definitely rent it out at above $1000. This is common sense and so renting a flat is most probably a short term plan for most couples since it will be more cost efficient to pay the lower mortgage payments compared to the more expensive rent.

Buy A Flat

Buying a HDB flat is most probably cheap if you have money in your CPF. If both couples have been working and have build up sufficient amounts in their CPF-OA, they most probably will have enough to pay the deposit for the flat. Occasionally, some might have to top up the amounts with cash as they might not have sufficient amount of money in their CPF-OA.

In other instances, when buying a resale flat, the owner might ask for cash over valuation. Understand that this ranges quite a bit depending on flat type and location. But as a guide, I don't think that one should be overspending in this area. For me, $20K will be the maximum cash over valuation that I will be willing to pay now. This is because the HDB has just announced that it will be building a huge supply of flats. This flats will be ready probably in 2012 onwards. Based on that, one can expect the prices to come down a bit so if you can afford to wait, do wait. But for me personally, $20K is the maximum cash over valuation that I will be willing to pay.

What do the rest think? Is $20K a reasonable sum to budget for cash over valuation? Or is it too much/little?

How Much To Get Married

A common topic amongst my single friends is the amount of money that they require to get married. Many of them lament that it will cost them a bomb to get married. Big ticket items include paying for the house (cash over valuation), renovation, holding a wedding lunch/dinner @ a hotel, buying the engagement ring and of course other miscellaneous expenses. Some of them reckon that they need as much as $50k and above to get married in Singapore!

Surely there must be a cheaper way to get married in Singapore and still enjoy the perks of all the above. Let's do a rough breakdown of the expenses and perhaps in my next few posts, I can touch on how one might save up on each of the big ticket items.

As mentioned above, the big ticket items are as follows and estimated costs are also shown:

1. Buying a HDB flat (Cash over valuation) = $20-$50k (Rest is usually paid by CPF)
2. Renovation = $20 to $40K
3. Wedding dinner/lunch = $20k to $30k (depends on hotel and no. of tables)
4. Engagement ring = $1k to $10k (depends on the depth of the guy's wallet)
5. Photography + Wedding gown/suit = $1k to $5k
6. Miscellaneous lunches, hongbaos = $1k to $2k
7. Honeymoon = $500 to $10k (depending on where and when you travel)

Anything else to add to the list?

Weekend in Monochrome

Do we see the world in black and white, then paint the colours in?

Weekend in Black & White and the visit to ColBar

If there is no right and wrong, all things are grey. Arguments are meaningless if there is no such thing as an absolute right and wrong. If wrong and right are just references that are subjective to each person, we will not be able to agree fully on certain issues. Life is always much simpler when you view it in terms of black and white. - Random Philosophical thoughts

The weekend was spent lazing around different places in Singapore. Visited the Colonial Bar or ColBar for short for dinner during the weekend. Ate Chicken Curry with rice. Wasn't too bad though it did leave me wondering whether $10 was too hefty a price tag to pay for just one piece of chicken and rice. I guess the owners must have factored in the ambience of the ColBar.

ColBar is tucked away in a really secluded part of Singapore where many old colonial houses are still found. It is located along Portsdown Road (exit via AYE before Alexander Road). The residences there are simply worlds apart from the Singapore that I live in. It is almost like stepping into another era, another timezone altogether.

There, I saw expats living in a totally different world, children bouncing on trampolines, swinging on swings tied to large trees with overhanging branches. It was simply peaceful, serene and so away from the normal hustle and bustle of Singapore. It is no wonder that many expats love to stay here. I think I hardly saw a single local in my walk around the area. The houses were the usual black and white colonial era kind of houses. There were garden parties going on. This is a world detached from Singapore. Detached from all the cares and worries of modern Singapore.