Stop Letting Work Define Who You Are

We often fall into the habit of letting our work define our entire being. And it is difficult to get out of this mindset. Sometimes, I wish I were a little braver.. That I will be able to stop living life the way others have defined it for me, break out of the moulds, get out of the silly rat race, and start truly living life.

But then, there are bills to pay. And someone has to feed the family. So I put off all my wildest dreams of like travelling the world (on a really shoe string budget), or setting off to some far flung place and anchoring myself there for like the rest of eternity...

And i know that slowly the bright spark in me is dying and slowly fading. I am very much less cheerful nowadays. I prefer to be left alone. I desire for something more than this seemingly mundane life. I am not making a living. I am making a "dying" literally.

Don't get me wrong. It is not that I am not happy at my job. But sometimes, I just get the sense that this isn't what I should be doing. Reaching home past seven pm on each weekday is not something that I desire. (Of course, i know there are those of you who reach home much later than I do).

I need to find new inspiration, set new priorities, find my purpose and live my life with passion.

So my dear friend: Please don't let your work define who you are. I am trying hard to do that. We deserve so much more than all these.

Paper Chasing in Singapore and Choosing a Job that Makes You Happy

I wrote about the Paper chase in Singapore a few days back. I must admit I got a bit side tracked from writing about how much one needs to get married where I wanted to share more about the costs of getting married in Singapore. I promise to get back to that once I am done with my ranting on the ingrained mindset of paper chasing in Singapore.

ARGH! THAT WAS ME IN THE MIRROR

I seriously could not believe that when I got home today, I actually spent a large amount of time researching on the various masters courses that I could take in Singapore. A good part of my evening was gone just researching on SMU, NTU and NUS. I even contemplated signing up for other courses like ACCA or CFA. But then I got lost in the myriad of requirements and stuff. This pretty much sums up the Singaporean obsession with paper qualifications. I have seen the enemy and I am one of them! I am just like any other Singaporean who focuses too much on paper qualifications.

Choosing a Job That Makes You Happy

It was definitely timely to read an article about choosing a job that makes one happy. Am I happy in my job? Do I have passion for it? I can't be certain. Some days I wake up gearing to go to work. Then there are other times (long stretches I admit) where I simply don't fill the urge to go to work at all.

A Brutally Honest Post

I have slowly realised what makes a good blog post. It is simply this: Sharing honestly about your thoughts and opinion. And that is what readers truly want to see and read. They want to hear about your honest thoughts about a matter and not some regurgitated facts (which I am sometimes guilty of).

Being brutally honest is necessary for blogging. But it is also relevant our lives in general. I had a flashback of some vacation work that I used to do while I was waiting to enter into the army for my national service. It was at a conference room. And the manager was rebuking his staff for not bringing value to their jobs. He even told them that he often went on job interviews outside to test his market value and encouraged his staff to do so. To which, one of his staff answered: " We are loyal to this company. Why would we do that?"

At that point in time in my life, I thought that manager was seriously one of those bad bosses. His staff would talk behind his back. They clearly did not like him. But today, I recalled the lesson he taught and realised that his staff probably missed the gist of his message. Loyalty to a company is not relevant to the question. The manager was really asking his staff what sort of value were they bringing to the job and why the company should be paying them. His challenge was for them to quit complaining and add value. And the true test of whether you are bringing value to the job is if another company is willing to pay you as much or even more.

Today as I thought about this point, I realised how true it is. For many years in my life now, I have been working and receiving my pay as though someone owed me a living. I shunned extra work and was always jealous of others who got promoted faster than me. I then had to ask myself this question. Do I quit and find another job? Or do I stay on?

But perhaps the more important question is whether do I add value to the job that I am in. How am I performing? Can someone do this job better than me? Where is my value add? Does my boss look at me and think: "This guy is the best person for the job." Or does he simply look elsewhere. This are hard questions that I ask myself each day. And it is particularly difficult because I am introverted in nature and don't get the chance to shine like the extroverts do. Somehow in all my education, I feel that I have somehow neglected my interpersonal skills, communication skills, persuasion skills and stuff. I might be older but I sure ain't wiser than the fresh graduate who comes in.

I have searched hard for an answer and the harder I drill down to the important questions, the more brutally it hurts. The sense of inadequacy, the feeling that I would do better at the job if I were an extrovert nibbles at me. I question whether it was my family upbringing or whether it was just my personality that got in the way. Or perhaps it was because of the faithful decision I made not to study overseas but locally that has driven me to where I am today. But one cannot look back at the past and wonder. Instead, I need to look ahead and hope for the future. But the baggage of the past sometimes weigh me down. Perhaps a better university would have done me some good in my career progression. Perhaps a more outgoing personality. Perhaps being a little taller. Perhaps being a bit more handsome. I don't know. Somehow, it seems like working hard alone is not enough. A certain X factor is required.

I once thought I was clever. But when I started working, I realised that there are much cleverer people around me. Now I no longer think I am clever. In fact, I doubt whether I am even average in intelligence. Surely if I was above average, I wouldn't be where I am today.

This is a brutally honest post. It is about brutal questions I have to ask myself.

Does Studying a Masters Help?

I have been wondering the past few days whether studying a masters would be useful in my career progression and open more doors to me. I currently only have a bachelor's degree and was thinking of doing a masters in one of the local university.

Of course, cost is one of the main factors that I choose to do it locally. Besides, I cannot afford to do it on a full-time basis and most probably will have to pursue it on a part time basis.

I was just wondering whether doing a masters in my related field of work will bring about a better career progression for me. Besides, I have also been wanting to do a masters for the longest time but I just don't know whether it is worthwhile to spend the time and money on something unless there are potential benefits. The other option will be to wait for a few more years, save up enough money and then go overseas to do my masters.

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

2nd Anniversary - A Good Time for Some Reflection

This day marks the 2nd anniversary of this blog. Or to be more exact, the day when the idea of blogging came to my head.

I still remember very clearly that two years ago, I was sitting at the balcony of some hotel room enjoying the breeze and just doing some journalling.

Two years have passed.

In this two years, I realised a few things. Perhaps it is the "older but wiser" syndrome.

1. Friends don't stay forever. I have lost contact with a lot of friends. This is due to either a change in workplace or due to other unforseen circumstances. I meet up a lot less with close friends compared to the past due to family committments. What I have realised is that friends come and go. When you have the opportunity to meet up every day because you work in the same office, it seems like the relationship will last forever. Once things change, you realise that you most probably will not meet up with some people again. Perhaps in facebook only?

2. Be a bit more discerning. I have learnt not to be too trusting of other people. I am now a lot more skeptical when I hear advice from people.

3. Investments go up and down. It has been a roller coaster ride in the stock market for the past two years. I am a lot more immune to the ups and downs in the stock market now.

4. Unclear of future direction. I remain very unclear about the direction that God wants me to go with regards to many things in my life. I feel a bit lost sometimes as I do not seem to be progressing in my career. For a guy, a career basically sums up his relevance to society, family and sometimes even defines him as a person. Without a clear cut career path in front of me, I have been lost, discouraged and depressed.

5. Blogging is good but..... At the blogging end, I now blog to keep readers entertained and educated. Hopefully they learn something from my mistakes and experiences. Blogging is good but it takes up a lot of my personal time.

The picture above depicts slaves taking the route from Africa to Americas during the slave trade. Sometimes, I feel like I am on this ship not knowing where I am going and what the future holds for me.

Perhaps I am at the start of my mid-life crisis...

Jobless in March

Jobless jobless jobless....

These are the 3 words that haunt me day in and day out. Everyday, I open my eyes and find that I am still jobless in every single sense of the word.

I wake up and try to figure out what to do till evening time which is when all my tuition assignments kick in.

So I usually try to have an enjoyable breakfast by visiting a coffeeshop or hawker centre. Eat my favorite food and drink my usual cup of coffee.

Go back home and surf the net and figure out what to eat for lunch.

Eat lunch and then start preparing for tuition.

After tuition, I think about what went well during the tuition session and what did not go so well and how I can improve the next session.

When I reach back home, I am usually quite tired out (from doing nothing). Nights are usually spent reading, watching TV or just surfing the net.

Come on job interviews, where are you???

Aceing the Job Interview

If only job interviews were as easy as the cartoon that I have pasted below....

How does one ace a job interview? Are there any tricks or tips that are worth noting?

I noticed that favorite questions by interviewers are always this:

1. Why did you leave your last job or Why do you want to leave your current job?
2. Why do you want this job or this position in our company?

I really wonder what is the use of such questions. What kind of answers do they want to hear?

Lessons I Learnt From My Job Interview

Disastrous in some words. My job interview that is...

Well, the worst thing that can happen is that I do not learn from this experience. As such, I am writing down some of my experiences.

1. I need to research more about the company and job position that I am applying for.

2. I need to be able to communicate my transferable skills that I have obtained from other jobs into the position that is being offered.

3. I need to be able to give a very clear reason why I left my previous job.

4. I need to be able to explain how I have skills that can be useful to the organisation.

I suck at interviews. Hopefully, I won't be attending so many interviews that a book is published here. The four points listed above are just some of the learning points from today's interview.

Job Application and the Waiting Game

So the waiting game is here.... just waiting for replies from potential employers and waiting for interview results.

Such a passive waiting game which I can't really stand. I wish there was a more active stance I could take.

Tick, tock, tick, tock..

How should I bide my time as I wait for the results?

Time to go off for a short trip and to escape the low self-esteem syndrome that comes along with rejections?

Job Hunt Exercise

Many times, we ask ourselves whether we are in the correct job.

Fret not, I have been in that situation many times.

After reading a book on searching for one's dream job, I discovered that the perfect job hunt actually entails discovering about who YOU are as a person and not so much about discovering that DREAM JOB.

So here are some simple exercises that you can take to discover who you really are and from this exercise, you will be better able to identify which jobs are likely to suit you.

Exercise #1 - Identify Your Favorite Skill

Just list them down in order of priority. Seven favorite skills would be a good number.

To make it even easier, skills can be broken down into 3 categories: People, Information and Things.

Some people prefer exercising skills on people. This include communicating, negotiating, presenting, mentoring, supervising, etc.

Some people are more comfortable with information. They like to read, write, analyse, compare.

Some people are good with things. They can fix cars, they know how to fix computers, etc

List down your favorite skills in order. From these 3 data sets (People, Information and Things), you are likely to find that your favorite skills perhaps revolve around one of these data sets. For me, I love to deal with information. I like to read, analyse and write.

Exercise #2 - Find Your Favorite Field.

While you might like to read and write and analyse data, this is only the beginning of identifying what job out there suits you. The problem is that there are SO MANY jobs out there that deals with reading and writing and stuff.

The key then is to find out what is your favorite field defined by your favorite interests. If you can't think of any field or favorite interests, look at the books you read; or the websites you surf; or the conversations you most enjoy getting into. What do these topics revolve around?

To make it easier for you, if you were going to spend the rest of your life on a deserted island with somebody, what topics or knowledge do you hope to be able to converse with that person about? Is it theology? Is it philosophy? Is it money?

Zoom into what you really like to do. Don't be bounded by social conventions or what people think you like to do because of what you have studied in school.

To give an example, a person might have the favorite skill of analysing information and the best field he enjoys to practice this skill would be in the field of finance.

I love analysing information but certainly not in the field of cooking or sewing... so you get the gist.

Exercise #3 - Geography (Country or City)

Most people have probably spent their entire life in a certain country or city. However, just because you stay there does not mean that your dream job can be found there. Sometimes, your dream job could be located in another country or city.

Afterall, where you choose to use your favorite skills in your favorite fields also has to coincide with your favorite location.

If you hate hot weather, you will not get much joy employing your favorite skills in your favorite field in Sunny Singapore.

So make a list of all the places you have lived before or stayed at. What do you like about it? What do you hate about it?

Now translate all the "hate" items into things that are positive.

For example, I hate the fast pace of life in Singapore. But the positive side of it is that because life is so fast pace, things are very efficient down here.

This list of likes will then form a picture of the ideal location where you should be exercising your favorite skill in your favorite field.

For me, the things I look for in a good location are these:


1. Good Food
2. Politically Stable
3. Safe for my family
4. Efficient
5. Scenery
6. Peaceful

All these should give you an idea of the ideal location your dream job can be located at.



Exercise #4 - In an Environment filled with...



Who are the people you would love to work with?

Do you prefer sociable people or analytical people?

Do you want them to speak English or Chinese?

Do you want them to be task focused or people focused?

Of course, in every office environment, you will most probably find a mix of all types of people.

However, if you know that you are more comfortable around males who speak English and who are all analytical people, you certainly would not be comfortable in a totally female environment who speaks Mandarin and are all just sociable people. I hope you get the gist.

Finding out who you are comfortable with has a large part to do with your job hunt. After all, if you don't fit in, you will be spending large amounts of your waking hours with people that you can't get along with.

Exercise #5 Your Favorite Values

Your values are what you hope to be remembered for.

Just imagine that you are attending your own funeral. What are the things that you hope people remember you for?

Do you hope to be remembered for being a good contributor to the country?

Do you hope to be remembered for your gentle laughter and your kind words?

Do you hope to be remembered for your great wealth and the things that you have acquired?

Do you hope to be remembered because you made a difference in people's lives?

Or do you wish to be remembered as somebody who was prominent in your field of work?

Everyone has different values. Don't let others judge your values. Your values are what you truly value in life. And your dream job should help you accomplish those values to a certain extent.

Exercise #6 - At What Salary and What Level of Responsibility

Find out what is the minimum amount of salary you can survive on. This will form the minimum base salary that you ask for. The maxium salary can of course be any figure that you are dreaming of.

For the level of responsibility that you are comfortable with, it depends whether you wish to hold a leadership position or be simply a follower. Or perhaps, you would like to work in a team of equals or perhaps just lead a small team instead of a huge team.

All these are based on what you enjoy doing and not on other people's projection or opinion of you.

Just because you used to be a manager does not mean that you enjoy managing people.

Conclusion

After completing these 6 exercises, you should have a much clearer picture of who you are as an individual.

The key now is to find a job that will fulfill as many of those criteria as possible.

Of course, now and then, some person might get a perfect job fit.

At least with this information, you are better able to understand how each job fits you and does not fit you too. In this manner, you are able to prioritise and enter the job with both eyes open on what it can and cannot give you.

This exercise is about knowing YOURSELF. It is not about what other people know about you. It is about who you really are and what you really want out of your life. So no use lying while doing the exercise as the only person you will be lying to will be yourself.

Hope that all you readers will find this exercise useful regardless of whatever career stage you are at.

How To Survive A Job Hunt

Surviving a job hunt is probably the most important information you would need if you are between jobs and the whole world seems to be crumbling around you.

I speak from personal experience.

Up till now, I am still looking for a job. The weekdays don't feel like weekdays and the weekends don't feel like weekends.

People keep asking: "So what are you doing?"

The wife is meaner to me than usual. She gets angry easily. It's because I am sitting at home all day long.

But the job hunt process is a long and tedious one. Especially if one does not know what job to look for. The application process is also one LONG WAITING GAME.

The most difficult part of the whole process is to keep one's head lifted up high.

Afterall, society (and I mean family, friends, etc) judge you by what job you do. And if you are jobless.....Uh Oh.....they give you a pitiful look....

Surviving a Job Hunt is thus perhaps the most important thing in the search for a job. When I mean survive, I don't mean locking yourself indoors. What I mean is to make the best use of this time to do the things that you enjoy the most.

Whatever your hobbies that you have put off, go pursue it now. Reading, cycling, etc, etc. Sitting at the computer the whole day and checking your emails or facebook is not going to make the job hunt any quicker.

Don't be pressured by others. Take time to think what is it you really want in life.

I managed to do that for a few weeks and go through my life purpose and skills which I am good at.

I hope to share with you the exercise that I did and which I think everyone will find helpful whether you have a job or not. That is however best left for another day.

Just remember: In your job hunt, you are not alone!

If you are feeling frustrated or depressed, you can feel free to contact me at this blog. Perhaps I could share with you my experiences and you will feel much better! =)

What Color Is Your Parachute?

In my current search for a job, I have been reading this wonderful book called What Color Is Your Parachute.

I borrowed it from the library and I must say that this book is impacting my life in more ways than I can count.

I am not too sure why the title of the book is as such but it is really a good book to read.

Amongst the books that I have read, Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Richest Man in Babylon are perhaps some of the books that have affected the way I think about things.

Holding this current book in my hand is indeed such a joy. It is as if I am being introduced to a new concept altogether just the way my world was opened up to things like passive and portfolio income when I first read Rich Dad Poor Dad.

I have followed the book's instruction to sketch the picture of my ideal life here.