Valentine's Day and Gifts

Valentine's Day is coming up on 14 Feb and I believe it is the season of gift buying again.  Most couples will probably be wondering what gifts to buy each other. I remember the days of my youth when I had to literally crack my head to figure out what gifts to buy.  I am not a good gift buyer actually.

If you asked me how I will buy my gifts, I will probably tell you that I will buy them online.  Shopping online has almost become second nature to me.  I can surf the net in the comforts of my home and still literally browse through the many online shops like Ebay to buy a gift. And I think this trend of shopping online will perhaps get more and more common to many people.

Another thing I realised is probably that married couples don't really celebrate Valentine's Day in as big a manner as the unmarried couples.  I could be wrong on this but will like to think that my generalisation should be pretty accurate.

So how are you spending your Valentine's Day?  And what gifts are you buying for your loved ones?  Have you stopped buying gifts for your husband/wife because you are married?

How Much To Get Married (Part 2) - HDB Flat

A few days back, I wrote about the cost of getting married in Singapore. In that post, I gave a brief outline on the items that a typical Chinese couple in Singapore would spend on. One of the big ticket items I identified was one's housing.

For most couples who have just started working and are probably not earning a lot (or born with a silver spoon), they will most probably opt to buy a HDB flat. This is perhaps the cheapest option unless you are willing to rent or stay with parents/in-laws.

When to rent

Some couples might opt to rent a flat or a room instead of buying their own HDB flat. This is usually due to cost considerations or because one is able to get a flat of choice. Others might simply want to be debt free and so choose to rent instead of buy. As a guide, one's mortgage loans (plus other debt payments) should not exceed 35% of the couple's combined salary. Most couples who have been working for 1-2 years should be below the $8000 combined income ceiling and should be eligible for a HDB flat.

In my personal opinion, it does not make sense to rent a HDB flat for long term since the HDB owner will most probably rent it out at a rate much higher than his or her own monthly mortgage payments. For e.g. if my monthly mortgage payment for my HDB flat is $1000, I will definitely rent it out at above $1000. This is common sense and so renting a flat is most probably a short term plan for most couples since it will be more cost efficient to pay the lower mortgage payments compared to the more expensive rent.

Buy A Flat

Buying a HDB flat is most probably cheap if you have money in your CPF. If both couples have been working and have build up sufficient amounts in their CPF-OA, they most probably will have enough to pay the deposit for the flat. Occasionally, some might have to top up the amounts with cash as they might not have sufficient amount of money in their CPF-OA.

In other instances, when buying a resale flat, the owner might ask for cash over valuation. Understand that this ranges quite a bit depending on flat type and location. But as a guide, I don't think that one should be overspending in this area. For me, $20K will be the maximum cash over valuation that I will be willing to pay now. This is because the HDB has just announced that it will be building a huge supply of flats. This flats will be ready probably in 2012 onwards. Based on that, one can expect the prices to come down a bit so if you can afford to wait, do wait. But for me personally, $20K is the maximum cash over valuation that I will be willing to pay.

What do the rest think? Is $20K a reasonable sum to budget for cash over valuation? Or is it too much/little?

How Much To Get Married

A common topic amongst my single friends is the amount of money that they require to get married. Many of them lament that it will cost them a bomb to get married. Big ticket items include paying for the house (cash over valuation), renovation, holding a wedding lunch/dinner @ a hotel, buying the engagement ring and of course other miscellaneous expenses. Some of them reckon that they need as much as $50k and above to get married in Singapore!

Surely there must be a cheaper way to get married in Singapore and still enjoy the perks of all the above. Let's do a rough breakdown of the expenses and perhaps in my next few posts, I can touch on how one might save up on each of the big ticket items.

As mentioned above, the big ticket items are as follows and estimated costs are also shown:

1. Buying a HDB flat (Cash over valuation) = $20-$50k (Rest is usually paid by CPF)
2. Renovation = $20 to $40K
3. Wedding dinner/lunch = $20k to $30k (depends on hotel and no. of tables)
4. Engagement ring = $1k to $10k (depends on the depth of the guy's wallet)
5. Photography + Wedding gown/suit = $1k to $5k
6. Miscellaneous lunches, hongbaos = $1k to $2k
7. Honeymoon = $500 to $10k (depending on where and when you travel)

Anything else to add to the list?

Getting Married - Steps to Take

I realised that a frequent question I get from people is how much savings one needs to get married. I am not that old but I guess being married- being a person that has walked down that path, makes me a qualified individual.

Or perhaps people know that I am a person who likes to plan ahead and seems to have everything under control. And that is why they ask me for advice.

Recently, when browsing through the IMSavvy site, I realised that it was one of the discussion topics too. So I guess I will chip in to the many opinions out there. But perhaps a better way is to tell you my story.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I decided to get married when I found the right person. Of course, it is a commitment that one takes as you never ever know whether there might be someone out there in the world who might be prettier, or better suited for you. But one does not have time to meet all members of the opposite sex in the world so you take the leap of faith.

Having known my girlfriend then for sometime, I decided that enough was enough and I was ready to settle down. It was getting tiring to just date without anything to hold us or bind us together.

So I sat my girlfriend down and asked her how much we needed to get married. (Yes, I know it is not romantic at all). But for most guys, I guess this is the preparatory stage before the actual proposal. You just want to make sure that the both of you have sufficient resources to hold a wedding. buy a house, buy some furniture and if possible, go for a nice honeymoon.

Of course, on 2nd thoughts, I should have just bought a ring and proposed straight up, then do the planning later on. But like I told you before, I am really a planner kind of person. And it simply did not make sense to hide my plans from my girlfriend. (okay, i admit that I am not romantic)

Well, the conversation went well and she actually got excited. I think she was just happy that I was actually thinking of settling down. We did our math on a rough sheet of paper which I grabbed and listed down item by item the things that we had to pay for. In fact, she kept that sheet of paper and we still have that piece of paper as a sort of memory.

In short, we added up every single item we could think of that we needed and tallied the total bill. We then forecasted how long it would take us to save that amount of money.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Now came the savings part.

As we were both working and literally quite fresh out of university, we basically were able to save quite a bit each month as long as we did not splurge on unnecessary stuff.

So it was actually quite workable. And we realised that we needed less than 1 year to save up for marriage. In this manner, we sort of revealed our finances to one another.

Good thing: we both did not have any debt.

Bad thing: we would be in debt the moment we got married as we wanted to buy our own place.

But that did not deter us and basically, we continued to save up fervently. Of course, I eventually did propose, buying the ring with a hidden stash of cash that I did not reveal to her at the start =)

Were there fights? Well...not really. We really stuck to the budget as the wedding day draw nearer. We tried to keep to the budget for most of the items and I am glad that such detailed budgeting helped solve a lot of the problems I believe couples face. As the budget was worked out by the both of us, we gauge all prices quoted to us based on what we have budgeted for. Anything too expensive...sorry...we looked for a lower quote. If there was anything that happened to be cheaper..then good..we saved some money.

The few months before the actual wedding was really a mad frenzy. Each weekend was spent trying to buy some item or furniture for our new home. The credit card bills came in fast and furious and it was not uncommon to be signing off thousands of dollars in a single shopping spree. But like I said, we stuck strictly to what we budgeted for.

I still remember that there were times I had to call up the credit card company to ask them to temporarily increase my credit limit so that I could pay for the big items. In fact, I have never ever spent money like that in my entire life before. Thinking back on it, I guess it is a phase that everyone has to go thru especially if you are getting your own place to live in. Furniture after all can be very expensive.

In fact, the renovations were the most expensive item that we budgeted for. But we decided that it was worthwhile to spend that money as we will want our home to be a nice and comfy place to live in.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

We counted down the months. As each month drew closer, our bank accounts got more and more depleted. It can really be quite stressful at times to realise that you are spending almost all your savings just to set up a home with somebody else. It was during this period that I really could see the sacrifices that my parents have made.

(I actually went further and started planning for life together and calculating our recurrent expenditure when we would move out of our parent's place and live in our own flat. It was then that I realised the amount my parents have been paying in terms for water, electricity, cable, etc over the twenty years of my existence. The amount they have spent on me must be lots!!!). Love you Mum and Dad!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

D-day arrived. It happened quickly and before I knew it, we were off to our honeymoon. When we returned home, we looked at the damage that the wedding had done to our finances, shrugged it off and decided that it was worthwhile. We did not spend a lot but it was still quite a substantial bit.

Nevertheless, because we did not spend our entire savings, we were able to start off our married life with a sure footing. (For example, even after our wedding and paying for all the bills, we still had 6 months of expenditure as an emergency fund set aside with room to spare)

Getting married is an expensive affair. It can be cheap if you want it to. But the best thing one can do is to sit down with your partner and work out the sums. Create a detailed budget and see whether some things are good to have and really necessary. The most important thing is open communication.

I hope this post has been useful for those who are planning to get married.

The writer has been married only once in his life. He does not plan to get married again. He thinks that weddings can actually be a lot cheaper if couples are willing to take the unconventional path of not having a huge celebration that Asians are so fond of doing. Perhaps a bbq or buffet will suffice in the future?