Financial Freedom: Hong Bao

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How Much to Give for Baby Shower

Often, I get questions on how much one should give for baby shower (e.g. colleague's baby first month celebration, etc). Well, this is both an easy question and hard question to answer.

The reason why it is easy or hard depends really on the type of person who is inviting you for the baby shower. It can be hard to tell what kind of person is it. Some people don't give two hoots about how much you give or what presents you buy for their baby. The only reason they invite you there is because you belong to their closest circle of friends. Your presence is all that matters. In fact, the only reason why they want you there is so that they will actually have somebody to talk to during the baby shower or party itself. In fact, you could turn up empty handed and they will probably not even realise it. After all, they are not bothered about gifts or the amount of ang bao one gives.

On the other hand, there ARE people who actually might take offence if you do not turn up with a respectable present. And it is extremely hard to tell which category your friend/colleague/spouse's friend might fall into. If they fall under this category, you BETTER show up with something in hand or face the consequences for the rest of your life (okay, just kidding......but then again, maybe not). And the situation gets trickier. What if that person is a colleague whom you will see day in day out? Or what happens if it is your boss?

Well, there is really no good guide on how much to give for a baby shower. In terms of red packet (or ang bao), I figure that the following should serve as a guide:

Acquaintance/Colleague - $20 to $30
Friend/Relative - $30 to $80

Well, the above rates are just a guide. And only you will perhaps know what is the correct amount to give. Of course, if your entire family (4 or 5 pax) is invited to a baby shower with buffet served, you might want to give a little more to cover the costs of the food/drinks/venue. But this is not a Chinese Wedding and the amount probably does not matter.

Another way to simplify things is to just simply buy a gift for the baby (using the above rates as a benchmark for the cost of the gift). But this gets tricky as you never know what are the gifts that parents like. The parents might be fussy about the brand of the gift (only ABC brand), country of manufacture (no toys made in XYZ country), colour (e.g. no purple) , etc. So it is extremely difficult to get a gift. Unless you are certain that the gift is of a reasonable quality and will be well-received by the parents. Books are quite safe presents but then again, some judgement needs to be exercised. After all, a 1 month or 1 year old baby can't possibly read that much.

The best way if you are still clueless is to actually suggest gift sharing with a few other people who are attending the baby shower. This sorts of ensures that you are giving the equivalent of what others are giving (especially useful if it is a colleague's baby shower that you are attending). But there is of course the operational hassle of who chooses the gift, what gift to buy and how expensive it should cost.

Nevertheless, all these should not deter one from attending any baby shower. After all, it is the heart that matters. And I am sure your presence at the baby shower will be much more appreciated than any gift or red packets (ang bao).

Marina Bay Sands Wedding

Marina Bay Sands is huge. Especially their convention centre where all the ballrooms are located. It is no wonder that many people have been having their weddings at Marina Bay Sands. Well, it seems that based on their wedding package, there are various options for a Chinese wedding banquet. The prices don't come cheap though and start from $1088+ per table to $1388+ per table (depending on the choice of dishes).

So if you are attending a wedding dinner there, you know the "market rate" to give. Simply divide the price by 10 and don't forget that the price does not include service charge and GST.

In terms of location, I think Marina Bay Sands is great. Ample parking spaces and also easily accessible by MRT. Complimentary parking tickets are usually given out.

The view is also stunning though it is not observable from the ballrooms itself. One will have to walk out to see the view. Furthermore, people can sneak out for a short break or even to go shopping if they want to!

Food-wise, I will rate it as above average. The food is good but I won't say that it is spectacular or anything. It is of a reasonable standards.

The service is average or even below average. Nowadays, it is really difficult to find good service in Singapore.

How Much to Give for Church Weddings

Not too long ago, I wrote a post about how much to give for Chinese wedding dinners. It was pretty well received so I thought a good follow-on would be how much to give for church weddings.

Well, the custom amongst most Singaporean Chinese is to give red packets or what is also commonly known as "hong baos" during weddings. It is a custom and trying to explain a custom is probably the worst thing one can do. But red packets are a custom and like it or not, it is considered "polite" to give a red packet when attending a wedding.

A church wedding is usually a much simpler affair compared to a wedding banquet held in a hotel. The costs involved are usually just the rental of the church premises, catering and other miscellaneous items that the couple arranges for. Considering that most church weddings are usually held during lunch time, lunch or tea might be served. This usually cost around $10 to $12 per head for the catering but can of course go up if better food is served or additional frills are thrown in.

While I will say that $20 per head ought to be respectable amount to give in terms of ang bao money to "cover for one's expenses", I have reason to believe that the market rate might be slightly higher around the $30-$50 range if one is just solely invited for the church wedding and not the dinner banquet. This takes into consideration the cost of booking the venue, etc.

However, it is also not uncommon that guest to church wedding might not even give a red packet. This is especially so if they have been invited for both a church wedding as well as a lunch/dinner banquet. In this instance, they usually give a combined red packet during the banquet itself.

That being said, there is no standard rule to follow. And how much to give is really up to individuals. Some couples are not picky and might really be inviting friends to join in the celebration. On the other hand, certain couples might be tight on their pockets and a little extra "help" from guests will be appreciated by them.

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How Much to Give for Chinese Wedding

A frequent question that is often asked by many people is this: "How much to give in terms of money for a Chinese wedding?" For the uninitiated, there are many traditions that are followed in a typical wedding involving a Chinese couple. One of these traditions is the giving of red packets (or what is known as ang baos) to the bride and groom during the wedding day itself.

While the red packet symbolises good luck and is meant to "ward off evil spirits", most younger Chinese couple do not really make this association with red packets. It is more of a tradition that has been passed on from generation to generation and we just carry on this tradition as a form of blessing that we hope to give the newly weds. This giving of red packets (with money stuffed inside) is somewhat similar to the Western culture of giving wedding presents I guess, with the exception that money is given instead.

While the amount of money packed inside the red envelope is not meant to be much of an issue, the amount given is usually meant to "reimburse" the newly wed for the expenses involved in hosting the wedding lunch or dinner. Relatives, business associates and close friends of the couple and their parents might sometimes feel obliged to give more than that as it is seen as "blessing" the couple and also forging good ties with the family. It is not unusual for parents to give a large red packet to their children during the tea ceremony.

For most people though, the amount to give in the red packet will just be what is sufficient to cover the expense of the lunch or dinner that you are invited to. For example, if it costs $1200 for a table of 10 people, most people will give around $120 to "cover the costs". Of course, some might give a little extra just in case they are uncertain about the "per table cost". In Singapore, if the wedding banquet is held in a hotel, be prepared to fork out anywhere from $120 to $160 per person. For the more expensive 6 star hotels, it can go as high to $200 per person.

For info, the amount given by each guest is usually recorded down so it is assumed that the giver of the red packet will write his or her name down on the red packet to facilitate this process. The reason for these records is so that the married couple can "give" back an equivalent or even higher amount of money in the event that he or she is invited to your wedding or even your children's wedding. It is a weird concept even for many younger Chinese couples but it is part of the "do and die and don't ask why" kind of tradition we keep.

Here are some pointers when giving the red packet:

The red packet is usually collected at the reception area where you slot it into a box. There might be different boxes used so do slot it in the correct box. The receptionist will often ask you whether you were invited by the groom or the bride and should be able to advise you accordingly.
If you happen to be late and the reception is closed, the bride and groom will usually go around the tables to take photos and greet the guests. You can pass the red packet to the groom then.
Don't give a red packet just because it has chinese words printed on it. The chinese words printed on it might mean "Happy New Year" .
If in doubt of how much to give, you can always check on the internet what is the existing table rate for the hotel. If necessary, just call up the hotel and ask them to give you a rough estimate.
As the number "8" sounds like "prosper" in chinese, people often give amounts that end with a "8" (e.g. $128, $188). This is however not really necessary but is a good gesture nonetheless.

Hope this posting helps to solve the mystery of how much to give for Chinese weddings. Will like to hear your views on this: How much do you usually give for Chinese weddings?

March 2016 Update:
The Straits Times newspaper came up with a guide on how much one ought to give for hotel weddings in Singapore. The figures are quite astounding add it is meant to just cover the cost per pax (see below):

The above indicates that if you are invited for a wedding dinner at Capella Singapore or St Regis, you should be prepared to give a red packet of around $234 per pax.

Video by Jade Seah on How Much to give for Weddings:

》How much is Nikah in Singapore

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For those who are interested, do check out the following links

Articles on retirement, savings, financial planning and investing:

Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs)

Commodities/Gold/Silver

Insurance

Popular Reads

The Road to Financial Freedom:

Wedding Dinner Pay How Much?

I found very useful information while surfing the net.

This site basically allows one to search for their wedding banquet according to various costs, etc.

Also a very useful site when you need to know how much money to put in your red packet.

The prices listed are without service charge and GST so you have to add that in yourself.

http://www.singaporebrides.com/banquets.htm

Financial Freedom

How Much to Give for Baby Shower

Marina Bay Sands Wedding

How Much to Give for Church Weddings

How Much to Give for Chinese Wedding

Wedding Dinner Pay How Much?

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